Ｌｅａｖｅ ａ Ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ

[staytofight]

 

０１３  »  ０８１

＂Clearly I'm indisposed; give me a reason to reply and it's a date. ＂

Comments

voice;

[staytofight]

[...]



Okay. Let's be friends.

voice;

[sweetmotherofgod]

[!!!]

That's a pretty charitable reaction to someone who fired a taser at you. I figure you're either something extra-strong or a masochist. Mind telling me which it is?

voice;

[staytofight]

Considering the woman I plan to be with is essentially a living taser when she feels like it, I'm far more prepared for being electrocuted than I ought to be.

[He gives pause. Well... Being electrocuted without hardly a response to it is pretty weird; the question now is--should he start being more open, where before he hardly ever was? Yes. Yes, perhaps. What's he to fear? Death? Being alone? He's been there, done that.

Sure, why not, he thinks. She knows he's something inherently bad, or at least bad to human standards. Hard to say if she's apologizing for the sake of having a clean conscience, or she truly thinks him someone to be befriended. Or both, most likely.]

Do you want to fathom a guess, or is that not so fun?

voice;

[sweetmotherofgod]

Well, apparently the last guy who tried that on me was a vampire.

I should probably mention I know a few people who are... a little left of normal. I'm not exactly standard issue myself. So I'm... I can be open-minded.

voice;

[staytofight]

... Not a bad guess.

[He smiles a little, hidden behind the voice function, leaning into his knuckles. This is interesting... Telling a human anything about himself is just interesting.]

250 years ago, I was a soldier in the Revolutionary War. Born and raised in New England—before we got our independence. I guess now you'd call it Vermont.

I'd been turned by a vampire out on the field, when my troop was ambushed.

[A pause.]

Centuries later... well, here I am.

voice;

[sweetmotherofgod]

[flattest

voice

ever.]

You're a vampire too. Does my blood smell of cheeseburgers or something?

[Heather don't say that's cool though people who were actually in wars tend not to think they were awesome think of something else to say that doesn't make you sound like a douchebag]

Crushed velvet jokes and bed hair aside, you're looking pretty spry for 250.

[yes good that wasn't dumb at all. Hear that sound, Garrett? That is an actual facepalm on the other end of the line.]

voice;

[staytofight]

...

I guess I'm pretty spry, sure.

[Hear that, Heather? He's judging you in the most friendliest way.]

I guess now that I'm not a nomad and I actually have a room to keep things, I could invest in a decent brush.

...

And sorry to disappoint, but cheeseburgers? They smell godawful. And they're just so bad for you, to boot.

[see: vampire telling you what eating habits are poor]